My Apologies.

I am sorry for the previous post. It was a freak of nature that should never have left the comfort of my mind.
I shall leave it, as a lesson to be learned.
~Ashm.

Regret

I should have learned by now not to mess with powers above mine. Especially Sialon.
I regret to inform you that in my last post, "Of Strength", I impersonated Sialon in an attempt to make myself feel better and to explain myself to readers.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done that.
Sialon is not impressed.
His protection has lessened.
I may have ruined my chances of joining him.
He is angry.
As soon as I was alone, his torture increased dramatically.
Tonight is not going to be a good night.
I am sorry, to all of you.
Readers,
Sialon,
And a few specific others.
I am sorry.
Regretfully,
Ashm.

Free

Some of you have noticed me talking 'different'. This isn't different. This isn't unusual. This is who I am. Most of you know me as who I am at school.
This is what I'm like when I'm free. Nothing holding me back. No drugs keeping me down.
As an example, a transcript of a MSN convo I had today.

Ashm
if you could find out the date of your death, would you want to know?

*person*
I wouldn't want to know the date

Ashm
yeah, neither

*person*
I'd want to know how I died

Ashm
really?

Ashm
I'd prefer not knowing anything about it

*person*
nah, is'd be great

Ashm
otherwise you'd be so paranoid for the rest of your life

*person*
you'd be imortal up until then

*person*
nuh uh!

Ashm
no you wouldn't

*person*
I'd go the other way with it

Ashm
what, if you knew you were going to be killed by falling from a building, you go to more tall buildings?

*person*
I wouldn't be paranoid

*person*
lol

Ashm
I would

Ashm
it'd be crazy

*person*
actually, I wouldn't mind knowing the date either

Ashm
really?

Ashm
my reasoning was, I don't know it now, and life is fine the way it is, knowing it wouldn't make much of a good difference

*person*
I could totally be like 'I aint gonna die today'

Ashm
i'd prolly go crazy, doing all the stuff I wanted to do

Ashm
but it wouldn't be as good

Ashm
cos i'd start panicking

Ashm
I mean, I'm not afraid of it, but knowing when it is, would suck

Ashm
especially if you found out, and it was soon

*person*
Is this Ashm talking?

Ashm
yeah

*person*
or nay

Ashm
why?

*person*
really?

Ashm
yeah

*person*
You're talking different

*person*
lol

Ashm
lol, i dunno

Ashm
i found this on the pit

Ashm
and it got me thinking

*person*
I see


name left out 'cos I can


This is what I'm actually like. This is who pretty much none of you know. This is me free, as myself.
There are things I don't want to be free of. Some people I don't want to be free of.
Sometimes, you need someone to hold you back.

On Beauty.

So, I've been thinking. And philophosizing. Here goes.
Beauty is not skin-deep. Nor is it in the eye of the beholder, if you take 'beholder' to mean 'one who holds.'
Beauty is a concept that differs from person to person. To one person, someone may seem plain, uninteresting. And to another, that person may be the most beautiful person they ever knew. That goes for personality as well. Beauty is more than just looks. To me, beauty is a combination of how a person looks and how a person acts, or holds him/herself. Someone who I could think looks good, and yet is the most shallow, or even over-deep, person, is not beautiful in my eyes.
However, it doesn't work that way in reverse. 'Good looks' are not a necessary part of beauty. To me, the way a person is. . . mentally, for want of a better word, takes priority over physical 'beauty.'
So, in truth, beauty to me is more mental, more personal, whatever you want to call it.
The main point of this rant is this. Recently, someone said to me "My girlfriend is hotter than yours." Quite frankly, that pissed me off. It's such a shallow, superficial thing to say. And yet, I didn't argue that point. Instead, I replied "Not to me." Which I realise now sums up my views on beauty pretty damn well. I haven't even seen this person's girlfriend, but I'm sure that to me, I won't consider her as beautiful as mine. Which also sounds shallow, but there's no easy way to put that into words. I do think it's the truth.
Now, this is going to be hard to put into words without it sounding over the top, but I'm going to try. Just a casual warning. I consider, in all honesty, my girlfriend to be the most beautiful person I know. And I want to add "and the most beautiful I don't." But, if I'm being honest, that's not entirely true. I have no way of knowing that I won't meet someone who I may end up considering more beautiful. But, at this moment in time, I consider her the most beautiful, because of who she is. That's the simplest way to put it, and it makes sense to me.
Anyway, thus ends a seemingly pointless rant. Ah well, it was helpful to me, even though it was hard to write, and harder to publish.
Just, don't read into this stuff too much.
Keep happy,
Ashm.

Follow

Yo, people, follow this shit. So I don't have to keep manually adding this stuff to facebook. And it looks kinda lame, me being the only follower.
DO IT

You know you want to.

Help?

So, I have the ending to a story all sorted out, but I can't think of a reason for the character to be itching. Ideas would be appreciated.
Here's the ending.

... You awaken, panting heavily. A sigh of relief escapes from your mouth. Just a bad dream. You lie back down, relieved.
Then, your back starts to itch...