Free

Some of you have noticed me talking 'different'. This isn't different. This isn't unusual. This is who I am. Most of you know me as who I am at school.
This is what I'm like when I'm free. Nothing holding me back. No drugs keeping me down.
As an example, a transcript of a MSN convo I had today.

Ashm
if you could find out the date of your death, would you want to know?

*person*
I wouldn't want to know the date

Ashm
yeah, neither

*person*
I'd want to know how I died

Ashm
really?

Ashm
I'd prefer not knowing anything about it

*person*
nah, is'd be great

Ashm
otherwise you'd be so paranoid for the rest of your life

*person*
you'd be imortal up until then

*person*
nuh uh!

Ashm
no you wouldn't

*person*
I'd go the other way with it

Ashm
what, if you knew you were going to be killed by falling from a building, you go to more tall buildings?

*person*
I wouldn't be paranoid

*person*
lol

Ashm
I would

Ashm
it'd be crazy

*person*
actually, I wouldn't mind knowing the date either

Ashm
really?

Ashm
my reasoning was, I don't know it now, and life is fine the way it is, knowing it wouldn't make much of a good difference

*person*
I could totally be like 'I aint gonna die today'

Ashm
i'd prolly go crazy, doing all the stuff I wanted to do

Ashm
but it wouldn't be as good

Ashm
cos i'd start panicking

Ashm
I mean, I'm not afraid of it, but knowing when it is, would suck

Ashm
especially if you found out, and it was soon

*person*
Is this Ashm talking?

Ashm
yeah

*person*
or nay

Ashm
why?

*person*
really?

Ashm
yeah

*person*
You're talking different

*person*
lol

Ashm
lol, i dunno

Ashm
i found this on the pit

Ashm
and it got me thinking

*person*
I see


name left out 'cos I can


This is what I'm actually like. This is who pretty much none of you know. This is me free, as myself.
There are things I don't want to be free of. Some people I don't want to be free of.
Sometimes, you need someone to hold you back.

Of Essence and Comradeship.

It seems this one does not need to be broken.
He has already begun.
He is on the way to joining me.
He wrote this in his journal, not intending it to be published. But, I think the outcome could be entertaining.


With each slice, I forget.
With each cut, I get further away.
Each drip of blood that escapes, he takes.
Each drip of essence that I lose, he gains.
Slice, cut.
Drip, drip.
Closer to full immersion, closer to full removal.
The removal of myself from this plane.
I go.
I go to join my tormentor.
Only with Sialon shall I be free.


He will become like me.
He already shows characteristics unseen in normal humans.
This one is strong.
This one in determined.
I must be careful.
Keep him under my control.
Or he will ruin all my fun.
He can't kill all of you.
    ~ Sialon